If you know our boys well, you know they are very active. We try not to be a "hovering parent" if you know the book Love and Logic very well, and that probably contributes to their activeness to a small extent. Nevertheless, we try to contain it and have tried a TON of different methods to accomplish that goal. For the past few months we have had a list of 7 daily goals for each boy, specific to their individual improvement needs. We go over this every night when we do family prayer and scripture study. A few weeks ago we had an epiphany! Which ever boy gets the most checks gets to do a victory dance. OH MY WORD, that has been a great motivator. Competition among boys can be a great tool in cases like this or a terrible thing when you think of all the fights it starts between them. I came up with the idea thinking about something my high school cross country coach told me. He said, "If you want to push the boys to run harder you tell them that the first 5 in GET to run again. If you want to push the girls you tell them that the last five HAVE to run again." I put that theory to practice with our boys and the Victory Dance and come to the conclusion again that it is true.
Along those same lines we offer our boys $0.25 per a chore or set of chores that they do. For example, if they make their bed, get dressed and brush their teeth before Mom has to tell them to or they won't have enough time before they have to leave in the morning, then they get that chore checked off and receive their twenty-five cents. I know some people out there are completely against giving their kids money for doing chores. Our theory is that it works well as a motivator and they are learning well, at an early age how to handle their own money. We don't buy them any toys other than what we do for birthday or Christmas unless they earn it themselves with this chore money. BYU recently published an article on this topic in case you are interested Good Habits Start with . . . Money? .
We recently decided to change the Victory Dance rules. It really isn't always fair because sometimes the 7 goals are much harder to achieve for one boy than they are with the other. My new idea that we will start tonight is that whomever gets at least four of the seven done gets to do the Victory Dance. I probably put an inordinate amount of brainstorming, reading and effort into figuring out how to motivate and discipline our kids due to their level of activeness (if that is even a word?), but believe me...if you have boys, the Victory Dance will work wonders!
My only fear is that we're cursed to only have boys. We'll find out on the 15th!
Along those same lines we offer our boys $0.25 per a chore or set of chores that they do. For example, if they make their bed, get dressed and brush their teeth before Mom has to tell them to or they won't have enough time before they have to leave in the morning, then they get that chore checked off and receive their twenty-five cents. I know some people out there are completely against giving their kids money for doing chores. Our theory is that it works well as a motivator and they are learning well, at an early age how to handle their own money. We don't buy them any toys other than what we do for birthday or Christmas unless they earn it themselves with this chore money. BYU recently published an article on this topic in case you are interested Good Habits Start with . . . Money? .
We recently decided to change the Victory Dance rules. It really isn't always fair because sometimes the 7 goals are much harder to achieve for one boy than they are with the other. My new idea that we will start tonight is that whomever gets at least four of the seven done gets to do the Victory Dance. I probably put an inordinate amount of brainstorming, reading and effort into figuring out how to motivate and discipline our kids due to their level of activeness (if that is even a word?), but believe me...if you have boys, the Victory Dance will work wonders!
My only fear is that we're cursed to only have boys. We'll find out on the 15th!
4 comments:
I mistyped one thing, so I fixed that. I originally said that some parents don't like to give their kids chores, I meant to say give them money for chores....
I'm curious what their goals are. Is that too personal?
You guys are amazing parents.
They focus on each one's personal struggles, like Bex not making messes, Trey controlling his emotions, Caeden going on the potty, etc. Then there are a couple general things between them like respecting Mom and Dad, or talking nicely to each other.
You're such great parents! I'm reading this and thinking how much more effort I need to put into my parenting! You guys are awesome!
Post a Comment